Rules of netiquette

Recently someone I had never met took a dislike to something I had shared on social media. Commenting on my post he told me ‘Give it a rest love. There are men in the room.’ I should have let it lie and usually I would have — I have always had a zero tolerance attitude to abuse on social media but that day something inside of me broke.

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Tired of feeling it is only men who are worthy of being listened to, I asked the gentleman if he would have written to one of the male members of the group in the way he had written to me and suggested if he disliked my posts so much, he might want to consider muting or blocking me. Big mistake — huge (as I knew it would be.) ‘Wind your neck in, you sound like a bloody nut case the way you go on — I would write this to men if they acted like you, hang your head in shame you lunatic’ came the reply.

Sat behind a computer screen, it is easy to forget we are interacting with other human beings but just because it is easy to say exactly what you want, doesn’t mean you should, so in this blog post I take a look at the importance of netiquette and the ways we can all be good digital citizens or netizens. (Note to self — do not engage with trolls.)

History

The word netiquette joined the English language in the late 1980s and is defined as the proper style and manners in communicating on the internet. It is a blend of the word ‘net’ as in internet’ and ‘etiquette’ meaning ‘prescribed behaviour’, a word which originated from the French word ‘estiquette’ meaning ‘to attach or stick’ and from the court of King Louis XIV, where small placards called ‘etiquettes’ were used as a reminder to courtiers of accepted ‘house rules’ such as not walking through certain areas of the palace gardens.

British etiquette means following a whole set of rules including being punctual, knowing how to queue, understanding that speaking with your mouth full is unacceptable, saying excuse me if someone is blocking your way and saying please, thank you and sorry for absolutely everything. And now online society has necessitated the creation of its own rules of conduct, commonly referred to as netiquette. These rules cover the protocol for online communications such as sending emails and posting on social media. And today, digital citizens, that is anyone who uses computers, the internet and digital devices, need to learn to follow these rules to ensure they use online technology responsibility.

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Why is netiquette important

Netiquette is important as it recognises the internet is an extension of society where we need to apply the same standards as we do in our day to day lives. Simply put those things we would not usually put up with such as hate speech, child exploitation, fraud and copyright violations are not acceptable online either. So what are the rules of netiquette?

Do not say it online if you would not say it in person

Before posting anything online or sending an email, it is important to ask yourself ‘would I be comfortable saying or doing this face to face.’ In your day to day life, would you randomly approach an acquaintance and ask them to be your friend or ask them for a favour? Would you constantly talk about yourself or jump into conversations with people you do not know without introducing yourself? Would you approach someone you had never met and tell them they are a lunatic?

Consider your tone

Facial expressions, gestures, posture and tone of voice are all lost when communicating online. When people cannot see or hear you this can lead to mis-communications, especially if you are trying to be funny. In the absence of non verbal communication, people will likely interpret what you write negatively, so always read what you write back to yourself out loud to check the tone of what you have written before you send it.

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Do not type solely in uppercase

Even if it is not your intention, an email or social media post written totally in uppercase can appear shouty (block capitals are also not accessible to people with visual impairments.)

Check your facts

Good netiquette calls for some attempt at accuracy by everyone who uses the internet, so always check your facts before you post, share, like, or comment on anything online. Just like Chinese Whispers, as messages get posted and shared they become distorted — so remember, if you reveal your secrets to the wind, you should not blame the wind for whispering them to the trees.

Do not send friend requests to people you do not know

It is best to only send friend requests to people you know personally, such as friends, family and colleagues. If you are sending a friend request to someone you have not met in person, say if you have mutual interests or belong to the same groups or communities, you should always send a brief message introducing yourself and explaining the reasons you would like to connect.

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Do not tag indiscriminately

The purpose of tagging is to:

provide a link to someone’s social media profile
make your post visible to the person you tagged
make your post visible to the contacts of the person you tagged.

Before you tag someone, always ask which of these reasons apply. If the answer is none of them or you are only tagging with negative intentions do not do it.

Don’t feed the trolls

Trolling is when someone posts or comments online to deliberately provoke an argument or emotional reaction. It can be prosecuted under the Malicious Communication Act 1988 and the Communications Act 2003.

If you feel you are being trolled on social media, ignoring the person is the easiest way to get them to stop but if they continue to harass you, report the comments and mute, block or unfriend the troll or contact the police. If you notice someone else being trolled you can report that too.

Stay offline when you are angry or have been drinking

A good rule of thumb is if you are too drunk to drive you should not send an email or share anything online. The same goes for if you are feeling angry. Give yourself time to calm down and if you still feel the need to say something, consider sending an email rather than sharing your thoughts publicly.

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Take screenshots responsibly

A screenshot is an image showing something on the screen of a device say an email, text message or direct message. When you are texting or emailing someone, the assumption is that it is between the two of you. Posting a screenshot of a conversation without the other parties consent could be considered invasive, so it is best not to share screenshots unless all parties have given their permission to do this.

If you have other tabs open at the time you take the screenshot these will appear in the screenshot also, unless you edit the image first — you need to be aware of this before sending screenshots as you don’t want to be sending personally identifiable information such as your bank details to just anyone.

Do not use photos of someone without permission

Just because someone allowed you to take their photo does not mean they want you to share it online. It is always a good idea to get a person’s permission before you share a photo of them. If the setting is a public place people do not have a legal right to privacy but if you can, it is a courtesy to seek their permission before posting publicly.

Do not deliberately take photos of people because you think they look funny or strange, with the sole intention of sharing them online and mocking them — it’s unkind. And definitely do not take photos beneath a person’s clothing. The criminal offence of upskirting as it has come to be known was created under the UK Voyeurism Act — offenders can face up to two years in jail and may also be put on the sex offenders register.

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Complaining

It is best not to use social media to publish an endless stream of complaints. This goes for complaining about companies, friends and family and work related issues also.

Saying the wrong thing could cause trouble in the workplace or even cost you your job. There have been many cases of people getting fired for posting about their employers on Facebook and be aware that many companies now check social media before hiring, so posting the wrong thing can damage your job prospects.

Even if you are not naming names, posting about family or friends can be equally damaging. Better to approach that person privately rather than airing your dirty laundry for all to see. Remember, what seems like a big deal today may not be a big deal tomorrow but once you have said something you cannot take it back and saying it in front a large audience will only make matters worse.

Being respectful and thoughtful in what you email or post does not mean you cannot complain. In fact reaching out to a company via social media is a good way to get them to respond to you because they will not like that you have complained publicly but airing your grievance all over social media will not get you results, so consider leaving your review in the reviews section of the company website or on a review website such as Trustpilot. If that does not work, be selective — take a look around to see where the company appears to be most active on social media and post your complaint there. Emailing the Chief Executive’s Office (many CEO emails can be found online) or using the online complaints platform Responder are other ways to get results privately.

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Do not be afraid to mute, block or unfriend

Social media is intended for friendship, sharing ideas and networking, it is not a place for constantly having to read what irritates someone and posting too many updates and photos does not entertain your friends — it just clogs up their feeds.

If there are people on your social media pages who constantly rant and complain, do not be afraid to mute, block or unfriend them altogether. Regularly unfollow or unfriend anyone that does not have healthy, positive or informative things to say and anyone who is rude or abusive towards you.

Think

Think … is it true, is it helpful, is it inspiring, is it necessary, is it kind?

The rules of netiquette dictate that all digital citizens are respectful and treat others as they want to be treated. The internet is not for lashing out, ridiculing, name calling or any other form of online harassment. Insults, bullying and arguing do not have to be part of your online experience, so by setting boundaries regarding what is and what is not acceptable and setting an example for others to follow with our own behaviour, we can all help build an online world where everyone feels safe and is treated with respect.

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Humblebee

Rules of netiquette

History

Why is netiquette important